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| ULTRAMAN
: | SECRET OF MIROGANDA
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Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 16 October 2007
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I had not seen this episode for probably twenty-six years. However, when I watched it again, I immediately remembered that it had traumatized me. A man wrecks his car and stumbles out, only to be immediately attacked by a fleshy vegetable monster. The hungry plant douses its victim with some sort of spray, then jumps on the man and eats him! The actual ingestion plays out as shadows on the wall of the freeway overpass. Later, a scientist meets the same fate as the unfortunate driver. Viewed by a seven year-old, that was not cool, not cool at all. I wouldn't visit the garden alone for weeks.
The plant's method of attack is to spray the target with some sort of pollen (it could be sap), then flop on top of him and wiggle. The prey, trapped underneath the undulating monster, is dissolved and ingested. Looking at it objectively, the organism actually looks like the gonorrhea-infected cousin of the Hamburger Helper mascot. I think we can all agree that having something like that on top of you would be terrifying.
The Science Patrol is tasked with investigating the disappearances and the mysterious slime left behind. They discover that the missing scientist brought back a strange plant from one of the islands used for the Pacific nuclear tests. A stakeout follows, and the Science Patrol members zap the monster with their ray guns. It quickly disappears into a lake. When the thing resurfaces, it is much larger. Hayata transforms into Ultraman and sets the monster on fire. Ever seen a fifteen-story tall burning bush? Hayata has.
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| Things I Learned From This Show: | |
|  | Chlorophyll is a key ingredient in antifreeze.
| | | Being the fat guy is perilous when a hungry monster is on the loose.
| | | Plants not only have no concept of time, they are violently opposed to the idea.
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| | | 4 mins - And people laugh at me for using weatherstripping soaked in Roundup.
| | | 8 mins - It would cure nearsightedness, too.
| | | 16 mins - What the heck is wrong with you?
| | | 23 mins - Ultraman should have opted for the accessory lithium battery pack.
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