SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY
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| Rated R
| | Copyright 1987 Urban Classics
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Daria - Slave girl from beyond infinity who has some tig old bitties.
- Tisa - The other slave girl from beyond infinity who is a bit more average.
- Zed - A hunter living on a remote planet. He loves to hunt other humans.
- Rik - Just this guy, he has sex with Daria once and says, "If I die now, I die a happy man." bad move buddy, real bad.
- Sheila - Rik's sister who dies, it's Brinke Stevens and though seeming to die more often than Bill Paxton she get's naked in a flash. You gotta respect that...
- Vak and Kzel - Zed's robots, must've been bought used or on sale.
- Mutant Alien Thing - You require any further description?
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Secretly taped conversation between the producer and writer of this movie follows:
Okay, okay - so there are these two concubine slave girls. Yeah, and um, and they escape! Yes! And they steal a shuttle and get away, but have to crash land on this planet see. Oh, and I read this story about a guy who hunts people called "The Most Dangerous Game." Yeah, I read that! So there's a castle on the planet and the guy living there makes people crash land then hunts them? Exactly, let's get some girls with big breasts... (end of tape)
Well, that's how I think it would go. While it might be graded low, teenage males will love this movie. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Manacles are polarized.
- Computers require you wear a rubber glove to access the keypad.
- Locked doors never get in the way of plot points.
- Women always wander around castles at night in something sexy.
- Slave girls are expert spacecraft pilots, can set traps with the best of them, and know ancient hieroglyphics like the back of their hand.
- Mahogony trees are common across the universe.
- You can duck a laser bolt.
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- 9 mins - That laser kind of shot out at the wrong angle...
- 13 mins - She just climbed out of the surf and her hair is dry?
- 19 mins - Is that a stuffed Woolly Mammoth?
- 28 mins - They wanted air so they walked ten feet away.
- 42 mins - She's coming on to a robot. And it's responding?
- 47 mins - Really steamy sex scene considering she's wearing underwear.
- 63 mins - Zed, the expert hunter who avoids the hidden pitfall, walks into an unconcealed stake.
- 77 mins - A line stolen from "This Island Earth!"
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- Daria: "He is history now."
Tisa: "History has a way of repeating itself."
Daria: "Oh yeah?"
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | slavegirls1.wav
| Rik: "I've heard alot about you."
Daria: "Nothing good I hope."
| | slavegirls2.wav
| Tisa: "Hurry back, if you two get yourselves killed out there you'll have me to answer to."
| | slavegirls3.wav
| Vak and Kzel having a dysfunctional conversation - you just have to hear it.
| | slavegirls4.wav
| Daria: "If, if, I'm sick of ifs! If life wasn't so cruel everything would be beautiful! Life doesn't care! Look at this jungle, everything in it survives by killing something else!"
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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 | slavegirls1.mpg
- 2.6m
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| Things were confusing enough as it was, but just to make sure you're completely lost the script has this weird mutant thing running loose. The mace? I don't know either, first time I saw the blasted thing.
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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