THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW
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| Rated R
| | Copyright 1975 Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Frank N Furter - Tim Curry! Your average mad scientist, transvestite, alien. Say's hello to oblivion via antimatter lasergun.
- Riff Raff - Morose butler, he eventually tires of his master's abuse. After zapping Frankie we can be assured he returned to the planet Transsexual and continued doing his sister.
- Magenta - Riff's sister; she enjoys banisters, sleeping with her brother, and dancing.
- Brad Majors - Idiot, there's little wonder we spend half the movie yelling "ASSHOLE" at him.
- Janet Weiss - Susan Sarandon! For some reason this girl sleeps with everyone except her fiancee'.
- Columbia - Freak groupie, she has a voice that can reach well into the "really annoying" range. Zapped by Riff Raff.
- Rocky Horror - Blonde, muscled, moron created by Frankie to satisfy his sexual urges - he needed to make about a dozen more it seems. Zapped by Riff Raff.
- Dr. Scott - Wheelchair bound friend and mentor to Brad and Janet.
- Criminologist - Our narrator. You will notice the distinct lack of tissue connecting his head and torso.
- Eddie - Meatloaf! Previously one of Frankie's lovers; upon making a reappearance he is greeted with a pickax.
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Let us get this right from the start, here is probably the best known cult movie of all time. For almost twenty-five years people have been enjoying the debauchery and it is not going to stop anytime soon.
Everything starts innocently enough. Brad proposes to Janet after they attend the wedding of two friends. It is only when they begin driving through a storm to visit Dr. Scott that things take a darker turn. Forced to seek shelter in a castle after their car blows a tire, the two are caught up in a carnival of carnal knowledge.
Incestuous domestics Riff Raff and Magenta tend house for the transsexual deviant mad scientist Frank N Furter. If Frank is not singing about something, he is having sex with someone - gender is no problem. (If this movie or its audience participation calls do not offend your sensibilities at some point, you are probably from California or New York City.)
Dr. Furter creates a man, er playtoy, and is busy admiring his future bedmate when who comes crashing out of the freezer? Meatloaf! Lucky for us rock fans a pick-wielding transvestite did not do him in. Even if it took twenty years for another album. (A sad correlation between the decline of rock n roll and chicks with, ahm, appendages?) Needless to say it is a short time before Frank has explored Rocky, Janet, and Brad.
Since Janet is wide awake after having sex with Frank, she goes tromping around the castle and notices her fiancee' relaxing after his encounter with their host. (Ugh, ugh.) What does she do? Oh, has sex with Rocky of course. Needless to say Frank is pissed, the arrival of Dr. Scott does not help matters. He is there to find Eddie, who was his nephew. (Small world huh?) All hands sit down to a nice, early morning dinner just before chaos breaks loose. Mainly on account that dinner is Eddie.
After turning his guests into stone (And apparently scrambling their brains.) Frank has just enough time to start the floor show, which involves everybody, and I mean everybody, wearing fishnets and dancing, before Riff finally loses it.
What seems like it would be a moderately amusing piece of bad cinema takes on a life of its own at midnight, in movie theaters across the country. Watching the movie in your home is okay, but seeing it in a dark theater full of hyper and sometimes inebriated fans gives one a whole new understanding. Ninety odd minutes of yelling the audience calls from, "Say hello Riff!" to "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Why the f**k does he have seven forks?" always left me sad to see the ending credits. The moral of this story? If you have not seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" at midnight, in a theater full of freaks, you are missing out.
Check out the Audience Participation Guide.
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Billboards do not belong in cemeteries.
- Sluts cannot read.
- Transvestites are easily mistaken for vampires.
- The secret to life is sno-cone flavoring.
- It is difficult to tell the difference between your lithe girlfriend and a hairy transvestite.
- Never piss off the guy holding an electric knife.
- Do not piss off the same guy if he is indiscriminately turning people into stone.
- Fishnet stockings cure paralysis.
- Rainbows are caused by antigravity drives.
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- 1 min - LET THERE BE LIPS!
- 14 mins - LOOK OUT FOR THE SLUT EATING TREE!
- 17 mins - WHY DOES JANET HAVE A CONDOM IN HER HAIR?
- 23 mins - That is one big girl. Is that my sister? (I have a fat sister.)
- 35 mins - HE'S WORKING SO HARD STEAM IS COMING OUT OF HIS ASS!
- 42 mins - Frozen Meatloaf, ugh.
- 52 mins - What is Rocky looking for?
- 55 mins - Why did that shut off anyway?
- 80 mins - You know, by this point I have seen enough men in garters and lingerie to last me a very long time...
- 91 mins - Why is Rocky climbing the tower now? What is this guy, some sort of human lemming?
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | rockyhorror1.wav
| Criminologist: "I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey."
| | rockyhorror2.wav
| Janet: "Oh! What have you done with Brad?"
Frank N Furter: "Oh well, nothing. Why? Do you think I should?"
| | rockyhorror3.wav
| Brad: "It's you're fault, you're to blame! I thought it was the real thing!"
Frank N Furter: "Oh come on Brad, admit it. You liked it, didn't you? There's no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure."
| | rockyhorror4.wav
| Riff Raff: "Say good-bye to all of this...and hello to oblivion."
| | Theme Song | Listen to a clip from the soundtrack. | |
| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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