PEEPERS
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| Not Rated
| | Copyright 1999 Hyper Active Studios
| | Reviewed by Andrew Borntreger on 'a long time ago'
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- Bambi - Freaky blonde girl who likes candle wax and rough sex.
- Erik - Mastermind of the killers, he is also boinking Bambi. Shot (Maybe the gun scared him to death, it sure didn't fire a round.) by his wife.
- Evan - Erik's best friend or brother, heck, I have no clear idea. He is the one killing all the people though.
- Detective Jeff Majors - Burly guy, he is supposed to be related to the killers, er, or something.
- Detective Tracy Rogers - Jeff's partner. (No, not that way.)
- A Bunch of People - Padding the film.
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| Obviously I annoyed a higher power (Judging by the pain I suffered it must have been Cthulhu or Yog-Sothoth.) at some point in my life, this week the insult was returned with interest. The only confusion I suffered from this film that matters is how they managed to get so many people naked. Forget the fact that I have only the vaguest notions of what the plot was about, forget that you will spend around forty minutes watching footage unrelated to the rest of the film, where did all the naked people come from? The plot, as it is, mostly concerns a series of murders at a boarding house. I don't quite understand how Evan poisoned the two lovers, maybe he spiked their bottled beer with cyanide? The poison stayed dormant in their bloodstream all through vigourous sex before causing them to froth at the mouth and die? Maybe? Yet another complaint, the video cover says "Peepers stars Marc Page and Darla Enlow as detectives hot on the trail of a boarding house serial killer." but these two spend most of the film goofing off in a doctor's office. (Maybe a dentist's office, somewhere like that to pass for a police station.) Despite a section of outtakes at the end where I recognized a "Space Ghost Coast to Coast" reference I now harbor strong resentment for the director (Robert R. Baker.) and hope he contracts a venereal disease. |
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| Things I Learned From This Movie: | |
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- Girls: make sure the front door is locked before masturbating on the couch.
- Beer causes epilepsy or rabies. (I really haven't a clue what the hell happened.)
- Music can't carry a scene all by itself.
- Leave making porn films to the professionals.
- Watching some large woman strip to the song "It's a monster" is pretty close to hell on Earth.
- Jumper cables are very useful for tying people up.
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- 3 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 7 mins - I have been watching this girl masturbate for about four minutes, not really a bad thing, but what does it mean?
- 12 mins - Erik spent this entire scene obviously trying not to look at the camera, then he stares right at it.
- 17 mins - Two naked women with large breasts doing a photo shoot? What the heck?
- 20 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 23 mins - Arrggghhh, where in the hell is this movie going?
- 26 mins - RANDOM GRATUITOUS BREAST SHOT!
- 30 mins - Back to the two women at the photo shoot, huh?
- 36 mins - Meanwhile, at the photo shoot.
- 44 mins - Not her naked, no, no, no... ...ah! Help! Oh no, not a striptease. Please, I'm begging you.
- 48 mins - I've lost feeling in my toes.
- 56 mins - Is there any reason we are watching some stripper go through her act? Hey, hey you! What are you doing in this movie?
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| | Audio clips in wav format | SOUNDS | Starving actors speak out | |
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| File | Dialog |  | peepers1.wav
| Erik: "A guy broke into the house..."
Bambi: "Yeah."
Erik: "...he raped you, you liked it, he died."
| | peepers2.wav
| Detective Rogers: "Swear to God, you could not find your butt with both hands."
| | peepers3.wav
| Evan: "Lonely's such a stupid word, you could have waited."
Bambi: "But you were dead!"
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| | Click for a larger image | IMAGES | Scenes from the movie | |
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| | Watch a scene | VIDEO | MPEG video files | |
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| | Leave a comment | EXTRAS | Buy the movie | |
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